4 Free Ways to Be a Bit More Montessori
What is Montessori? It is not just about wooden toys. An important aspect of Montessori is respectful parenting and treating our children as whole, capable people. A lot of people are interested in adding a bit of Montessori to our home so I compiled a few free ways that you can make your home a bit more Montessori!
“Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future.”
Offer Choices
An important principle of Montessori is freedom within limits. Children are not free to act in dangerous or destructive ways. It is our job as the adults to set limits. Children, however, are free to act within those limits. Even very young infants can be given choices. Hold up two onesies to a newborn and follow their gaze. A slightly older infant can reach for one. As an infant learns to crawl you can set up two choices and let them crawl to it. Try offering choices of clothing, books, and toys. For very young children keep the choices very limited, to two options, to make it less overwhelming to choose.
Observe
When you see your child engaged in something instead of stepping in immediately take a moment to observe without judgment. Observe what your child is interested in and see how you can offer opportunities to expand on those interests. If you see your child pouring their cup at the dinner table, for example, try to offer opportunities for them to pour water at other times.
Don’t Interrupt
Related to observing is not interrupting our children when they are engaged in work or concentrating on something. When we allow our children time to concentrate and refrain from breaking their concentration we build that concentration. Children may begin to concentrate on anything. If you see your child concentrating on a flower outside and examining it, see if you can slow down and let them explore it at their own speed without talking or moving them along. This can begin with a newborn who is watching a mobile. Instead of picking them up when we are ready to change their diaper, we can observe and wait until their gaze leaves the mobile before telling them we are going to pick them up.
Avoid Punitive Discipline
Discipline at its root is about teaching. Instead of punitive discipline such as time outs, we can use discipline moments as opportunities to connect with and teach our children. We show our children that while all feelings are acceptable not all actions are. Instead of sending a child who is screaming for not getting something they want to time out we can validate the feelings while holding the boundary: “You are upset because you didn’t want to leave the park. It is hard to stop doing things when we are having fun.” If a child is hitting we can say, “I see you are upset. It is okay to be upset. It is not okay to hit. I need to keep my body safe,” and if they are unable to control their hands we can gently hold them to keep them from hitting.
Something I try to stress to people interested in Montessori is more than anything else Montessori is about YOU, the parent. It isn’t about the materials or about the perfectly curated playroom (we don’t even have a playroom). It isn’t about any one thing be it the functional kitchen, the floor bed, or the learning tower. Montessori is a mindset that anyone can begin at home.
